I have a close nit group of friends, as in outside of this group are my co-workers, and maybe 5 other friends, so my group of friends know the two people me and my girlfriend don’t like in the slightest and wouldn’t even care if their existence stopped being a thing, but all are guilty of tell us stories of those two people anyway. I mean they are friends with those two, I could give a shit less, be friends with who you want, but when it comes down to it I don’t give a shit what you do with either of these two people, as in I really don’t want to hear about it. I could dig if friend 1 was telling friend 2 about some sort of story of one these two people or even a story involving both of them at the same time (be that unlikely), mean hey if I am just a bystander of conversation that is cool, again I am not about to say what you can talk to each other about. But no, my friends a thick headed numb skulls (though I do love to death) and will address me and/or my girlfriend with a story about one of these two fuckers, even though they know full well we don’t give a goddamned rat’s ass.
I will be one on one with one of my friends and he will begin to talk about one of these two ass clowns and will look my friend strait in the eye and him/her I don’t give a shit. My friend will continue on with his damned ass story about this bitch I rather see dead anyway. I mean why the fuck even? Only one and one only of my close friends will catch himself talking about one these two and stop dead in tracks and change the subject, and when he does this, I thank him and feel the need to give him a cookie for doing so, but never do because that kid and sugar is bad news bears man.
Now as far as the two people me and my lady can’t stand, if you haven’t guessed already, involves past relationships, one person who fucked me over big time (we’ll her thing 1) and one person that lead my lady (who will for here on out be called Jazz, because that is kind of her name, her whole name being Jasmine, but lest keep things short) on for 2 years and is strait piece of shit that won’t even own up to what he did, and given the chance I’d bash his skull in, please take note that my girlfriend is not even the only victim of this cock sucker, so he well deserves a ol’ fashioned ass beating (we’ll respectively call him thing 2 in respect the previously set trend).
Now thing 2 is hardly talked about to me, but Jazz’ best friend bring this shit fuck up every now and then, at times just to piss Jazz, her best friend is kind of a major bitch at times, not a big fan myself, but she is my bets friends girlfriend, (so sorry for that one M8, though I doubt you’ll read this and if you do, I love you and you are my bro but can’t say I can get along with your lady very much these days) so you know what do? But anyway moving on with this story that maybe all of 2 or 3 will read (thank you for doing so, I hope I keep your observation spheres entertained) thing 2 broke up with his girlfriend a good 4 or so months into me and Jazz’ relationship and thing 2 tells Jazz’ best friend not to tell Jazz so she doesn’t get any kind of false hope. Fucked up and completely vain on this dick nose’s part right? Now I was commenting on one of my friend’s statuses on the book of faces, and at one point I said love only love is found here, just derping around and thing 2 comments out of fucking no where only to say “Conner if you only knew” and I was whatever. A day later that friend messaged me and say hey thing 2 told me not to tell you about this but I felt the need to tell you anyway, and it was about the bull shit this womanizer put Jazz through (I already knew about this) and how he feels Jazz will never get over him. Jazz and I have been together for 8 months now, happily may I add, we are going to get an apartment together here shortly *pretty fucking stoked*. But thing 2 is so stuck up own ass that he thinks Jazz is still heart broken about the bull shit he did to her. If that is not enough to get your blood boiling then, I understand, because I mean fuck, we probably don’t even know each other, so in that case “Hi, my name is Conner, and it is a pleasure meeting you.”
I am not a fighter in the slightest, I got in a fight in high school, found the hard way that I don’t know how to fight, I was a jr. and my ass kicked by a freshman, and for the sake of this kid leaving my friend alone, safe to say the ass fucker still didn’t leave my friend alone, one thing I learned from that fight, I have a very high pain tolerance and a low bruising factor. I do in fact have a very very very bad anger problem example; my brother was talking shit about my Jazz’ family, not the biggest fan of her family myself, but you know fuck, he was just trying to get a rise out of me, well it worked pretty good, pick up a fork and chucked it at his head, left four puncture wounds right above his left eye brow, so anywho thing 2 really pisses me the fuck off, I would love to shit the ever living beat out of him. I mean I would leave this bastard black and all 50 shades of blue and purple and there would be red stuff everywhere. Though I never will, not because of the fact I can’t fight, because I promise that I’d have enough rage to make up for that fact right fucking quick, but on the principle that he would never be worth going to jail for, he is not worth the time away from Jazz, fuck that cockroach wouldn’t even be worth the effort it took to break his damned bones.
This whole rant really got out of hand man, I didn’t bank on this thing being this long. I will leave thing 1 for a story for another time. Thank you for reading this impossibly long rant of nothingness, I hope you enjoyed.